Modesty is a big deal for both men and women. I will start by saying women have a bit more affect and, for that reason, this a pretty important issue. But there are some things men can also do to help us as women not feel so one sided on this issue and own their part of it. I will focus on the woman's side. My version of modesty is going to probably be different than yours and that is OK. It is really all about personal convictions. So as I say, all the things I see as immodest and modest, they are only what I am personally convicted of, so please use your own personal convictions as your guide. Talk to God and find out where your comfort and convictions lie for you personally. Having said, that here I go with my list:
Some may think when they see me that I wear dresses and skirts all the time and you would be right to think that. I really do love to wear skirts and dresses, but I do still believe jeans are fine. I love my jeans and I love being able to decide how I want to dress that day, in a skirt or a pair of jeans. Shorts are a part of modesty that has kind of evolved with me I will now wear shorter shorts than I used to, but they do still have to have an inseam and no pockets showing. Skirts and dresses much shorter than an inch or two above the knee are not comfortable for me. I will wear any jeans, skinnies and boot cut and the like. I just like to make sure they aren't too tight all around. As far as shirts, I will wear pretty much any shirts except tube tops and strapless shirts, and that also goes for dresses as well. Unless it is a dress for a wedding or special event, I will not wear strapless dresses. I wear and practically live in tank tops all summer. I will always wear a cami under anything that feels a bit too see through or shows more skin than I want it to. I have camis in many colors and styles, which allows me to add some color to outfits as I want to.
I am a girly girl. I love to dress up in my own way. I am saddened when I see a woman dressing in a very immodest way. I pray for her and her heart because perhaps she doesn't see the problem with dressing like that. It's important to consider the heart motive behind how we dress. And yes, it really is a heart issue if we need to dress in an immodest way. Perhaps we are insecure in our attractiveness to guys without showing it all off, like we don't think a guy could possibly like us without giving him some visual help. This, dear ladies, is a huge lie that Satan puts in our heads. I have been there, too. I am certainly not innocent concerning those thoughts. I have had them as well. But perhaps it would be better to consider the struggle young men out there have with their eyes and what is before them. We also need to have enough respect for ourselves and consider the example we are to other girls as well. Keep this in mind, especially if you are around a lot of younger girls or young women who will look up to you in all ways, including the way you dress. They will look to you to show them how they should view their body and what they choose to wear. If you show up looking cute and modest, they will start seeing that as a good way to dress. Little girls need good role models around them, especially when the world around them is saying skinny and sexy is best.
Healthy body image is so important and essential to avoiding the trap of extreme body issues, such as eating disorders and compulsive dieting and constant weight fears. Now, I cannot speak to you about how hard it is to struggle with weight all the time because the Lord has blessed me with a small and yet healthy frame. I have never felt fat. I have, however, felt like, at some points in my life, that I've been underweight. At my lightest I was 100 pounds at the age of 21. I was so scared by that. I had gone from 107 pounds to 100 in less than a month. At this point I went to a doctor just to be sure there wasn't a health reason for this rapid weight loss. The doctor didn't find anything. After a few months of really working on de-stressing and trusting God, I gained the weight back. I was so thankful. The only cause to this day that we can think of is that I was so stressed I didn't eat enough, nor did I want to eat much. It was so terrifying to see how small I had gotten and the scary path I had ended up on without intending to. So, my dear lovely ladies, none of us are immune to the body issues. All of us struggle with them. Stand close to your Heavenly Father and let Him love you and help you love the body you have, because He created you just the way you are. He sees a treasure and a woman of such worth that He went to the cross for you and died just to show you how worth it you are.
But now, I know what you're thinking. Some days, ladies, we wake up and go, "God, have you seen this face? Have you seen how not pretty I am, 'cause really, I am scary. My skin doesn't look like the magazines and guys don't give me a second glance. Lord, I have things about my body I would change if I could and I just wish I could look more like (insert name here)." We all compare our bodies and skin or clothes to someone. We know the Bible says we shouldn't but we all still struggle with comparing ourselves to others. The jealousy intensifies when we see a girlfriend of ours get the boy we wanted, or just any boy, to go out with her. We start to second guess our validity. Our own character and self worth get thrown under a microscope and we seek to find the flaws or the reasons we don't have a guy or, for goodness sake, even catch a guy's eye. If you're like me, you want to be loved and accepted so much that you will do everything it takes to see that come true. Our heart yearns for a man to like what he sees enough to want to marry us. The danger here goes back to the lie that Satan keeps shoving in our face, that we need to strut our stuff and flaunt our body so we catch those guys in our trap, all the while forgetting that young men need our help to keep their eyes on the right parts of a woman. Now I am not saying that wearing more fabric is the only thing here. Its so much more than that. We need to seek to make our feminine beauty come out. God created us women to affect the right young man at the right time. Not all young men have the right intentions as far as how they choose to see us young women. Some have chosen to use women to get what they want from them, therefore not respecting them like they should be. Other men are too afraid to even look at or think of a women as a possible wife because he has been told so much to respect his sisters and young ladies as precious gifts.Then there are the young men who get it just right; they seek to treat women with respect but don't let the possible ones get away without at least trying to get to know them and see how it goes. As I'm sure you already know, young men don't think and see the world in the same way as we do. They have more struggles with visual and physical things, so as far as it depends on us, we should try to help them out. So dress confidently and with feminine elegance. Let your body be complimented by your clothing but not accentuated by it. Seek to look pretty and wear things that make you feel nice, but keep things hidden that should be hidden. God made us and compares us to the Bride of Christ. We are to respect Him and young men with our bodies.
In closing, we are women so we like to be in clothes that make us feel pretty. And if we catch eyes with the right intentions on our part, then we have done all we can do. Then the men are responsible for how they deal with what they see and how they deal with those thoughts/feelings. Our hearts should be settled in our worth in Christ. Then God will bring along the right man at the right time. Be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin and you will see that God will bless that. And don't let your motive be only to get a husband. My dear ladies, He has created you and He makes no mistakes so your beauty is breathtaking and steals God's attention. You are His creation and He wants you to see what He sees. You are His chosen one so let those words settle in your heart. The God of all creation is captivated by your beauty and you're worth it. How can that not make you feel like a princess? No fairy-tale needed here. We don't have to work to have the happily ever after. We already have it in Him. I am a princess, a daughter of the one true King.
Matthew 6:33~ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (NIV)
Healthy body image is so important and essential to avoiding the trap of extreme body issues, such as eating disorders and compulsive dieting and constant weight fears. Now, I cannot speak to you about how hard it is to struggle with weight all the time because the Lord has blessed me with a small and yet healthy frame. I have never felt fat. I have, however, felt like, at some points in my life, that I've been underweight. At my lightest I was 100 pounds at the age of 21. I was so scared by that. I had gone from 107 pounds to 100 in less than a month. At this point I went to a doctor just to be sure there wasn't a health reason for this rapid weight loss. The doctor didn't find anything. After a few months of really working on de-stressing and trusting God, I gained the weight back. I was so thankful. The only cause to this day that we can think of is that I was so stressed I didn't eat enough, nor did I want to eat much. It was so terrifying to see how small I had gotten and the scary path I had ended up on without intending to. So, my dear lovely ladies, none of us are immune to the body issues. All of us struggle with them. Stand close to your Heavenly Father and let Him love you and help you love the body you have, because He created you just the way you are. He sees a treasure and a woman of such worth that He went to the cross for you and died just to show you how worth it you are.
But now, I know what you're thinking. Some days, ladies, we wake up and go, "God, have you seen this face? Have you seen how not pretty I am, 'cause really, I am scary. My skin doesn't look like the magazines and guys don't give me a second glance. Lord, I have things about my body I would change if I could and I just wish I could look more like (insert name here)." We all compare our bodies and skin or clothes to someone. We know the Bible says we shouldn't but we all still struggle with comparing ourselves to others. The jealousy intensifies when we see a girlfriend of ours get the boy we wanted, or just any boy, to go out with her. We start to second guess our validity. Our own character and self worth get thrown under a microscope and we seek to find the flaws or the reasons we don't have a guy or, for goodness sake, even catch a guy's eye. If you're like me, you want to be loved and accepted so much that you will do everything it takes to see that come true. Our heart yearns for a man to like what he sees enough to want to marry us. The danger here goes back to the lie that Satan keeps shoving in our face, that we need to strut our stuff and flaunt our body so we catch those guys in our trap, all the while forgetting that young men need our help to keep their eyes on the right parts of a woman. Now I am not saying that wearing more fabric is the only thing here. Its so much more than that. We need to seek to make our feminine beauty come out. God created us women to affect the right young man at the right time. Not all young men have the right intentions as far as how they choose to see us young women. Some have chosen to use women to get what they want from them, therefore not respecting them like they should be. Other men are too afraid to even look at or think of a women as a possible wife because he has been told so much to respect his sisters and young ladies as precious gifts.Then there are the young men who get it just right; they seek to treat women with respect but don't let the possible ones get away without at least trying to get to know them and see how it goes. As I'm sure you already know, young men don't think and see the world in the same way as we do. They have more struggles with visual and physical things, so as far as it depends on us, we should try to help them out. So dress confidently and with feminine elegance. Let your body be complimented by your clothing but not accentuated by it. Seek to look pretty and wear things that make you feel nice, but keep things hidden that should be hidden. God made us and compares us to the Bride of Christ. We are to respect Him and young men with our bodies.
In closing, we are women so we like to be in clothes that make us feel pretty. And if we catch eyes with the right intentions on our part, then we have done all we can do. Then the men are responsible for how they deal with what they see and how they deal with those thoughts/feelings. Our hearts should be settled in our worth in Christ. Then God will bring along the right man at the right time. Be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin and you will see that God will bless that. And don't let your motive be only to get a husband. My dear ladies, He has created you and He makes no mistakes so your beauty is breathtaking and steals God's attention. You are His creation and He wants you to see what He sees. You are His chosen one so let those words settle in your heart. The God of all creation is captivated by your beauty and you're worth it. How can that not make you feel like a princess? No fairy-tale needed here. We don't have to work to have the happily ever after. We already have it in Him. I am a princess, a daughter of the one true King.
Matthew 6:33~ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (NIV)
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